


Just Breathe

by steveroqers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Jarvis Feels, Pepper Feels, Temporary Character Death, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Hates Magic, You all know how this ends you've seen the film, loki is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:32:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3812374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveroqers/pseuds/steveroqers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing he notices is how bitterly cold he becomes so quickly. This place, this universe – it was cold to the point he could feel it seeping through the fractures in his armour. The hairs on his arms and neck stood on end as the unforgiving, relentless cold swept over him. He could feel the chill in his bones; deeply set, like he would never be warm again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically the scene in Avengers when Tony flies the nuke through the portal - I wanted to explore his thoughts during it all. I don't own the The Avengers and the script I quote is not mine.

“Stark, you know that’s a one way trip.”  
  
Tony wants to laugh at how obviously true Cap’s statement is, but he can’t find it in him to be humorous. He can’t bring himself to answer Steve, because he really doesn’t want to die like this. His heart is pounding faster than it has done in a long time – probably since the time when he thought he was going to die from palladium poisoning. Right now, he’d take that way out over this with no hesitation.  
  
“Save the rest for the turn, J,” Tony mutters to his companion, his wonderful JARVIS. He can feel the weight of the nuke on his back, he can feel the emotional weight of taking this through the portal weighing him down like lead bricks. It whistles loudly near his helmet, and he feels like it’s somehow reminding him of the risks of being Iron Man, of being an Avenger. He’d known this was always a possibility – well, no, not this exact situation, but dying in battle – and he’d become Iron Man in spite of it. He wonders if it was worth it, but then he thinks of everything he’s achieved and who he’s saved, and he knows he wouldn’t change it one bit. He briefly looks down at the city zipping past below, and fleetingly entertains the notion that he’ll never see it again.  
  
His blood runs cold at the thought.  
  
He’s moving along faster now, and he’s soon in plain sight of the wormhole and Stark Tower. Stark Tower, his project – his _baby_. And he’d never see it being used to its full potential, thanks to Loki.  
  
‘Sir, shall I try Miss Potts?’ JARVIS questions, and his voice is calm and collected. Pepper’s picture flashes up on the HUD suddenly, and he can’t even imagine what he’d say to her in his last moments, but he can’t die without hearing her voice one more time. His Pepper; his sweet, glorious Pepper who didn’t deserve his sorry ass.  
  
“Might as well,” Tony replies quietly, and the icon is flashing in the corner.  
  
He picks up speed now as the Tower looms above, and he boosts the thrusters so he can gain more altitude. He momentarily sees windows flashing in front of him, and then it’s the portal straight ahead, and the Chitauri are still everywhere. He knows then it’s the right thing to do; the end game was always to protect those he loved, no matter the cost. The call to Pepper still isn’t connecting, and he takes one last fleeting glance at the world he loves and suddenly it’s gone in a blink of an eye.

  


The first thing he notices is how bitterly cold he becomes so quickly. This place, this universe – it was cold to the point he could feel it seeping through the fractures in his armour. The hairs on his arms and neck stood on end as the unforgiving, relentless cold swept over him. He could feel the chill in his bones; deeply set, like he would never be warm again.  
  
In the few seconds he notices all of this, he feels the nuke leave his weakened grasp and shoot forwards, to the mass of swarming Chitauri and their ship. He can feel his armour fail around him, and he struggles as suddenly the oxygen is gone. JARVIS’ comforting voice cuts away, and Tony has a sudden urge to cry out for him to stay, and the armour stops mid air, with him slowing falling through endless space. He stares up at the ship, watching as the nuke takes it out in one large blast. The Chitauri stop in their tracks, and Tony knows it will have stopped the fight on Earth. He’d managed to save them all, and he wouldn’t be there to see the repercussions.  
  
He continues to fall as his lungs seize up and his vision begins to fade out. All he can think about is Pepper, and how she’d see a missed call from him, and never know what he had to say. What would he have said?  
  
Tony would’ve told her he adores her. He adores her, and he had never told her enough. Pepper had stood by him through all the bullshit – through all of his drunken flings, his stint in a cave, when he first became Iron Man. He loves her more than he can comprehend, and that used to scare him. Right now, he wishes he could sweep Pepper up in his arms and declare his undying love for her.  
  
Tony struggles to think clearly now due to the lack of air, and he can’t feel anything except the biting cold running through his bones and the cramping of his chest as he battles to breathe. He looks up through the tiny eye slits one last time, and he stares at the vast blackness of the space surrounding him with a sense of finality. He knew it was always naïve to assume their universe was the only one to exist – but this, this giant black, never-ending canvas, wasn’t what he’d had in mind. It wasn’t a comforting image to die with.  
  
His eyes flutter as he feels his heart slowing to a stop, and he knows now that his reactor has shut off and failed him. One single, important word flashes across his mind repeatedly as his eyes shut for the last time.  
  
_Pepper._


End file.
